So I didn’t used to be. But I’ve been reliably informed by someone with severe scoliosis that the proper slang disability term for people with weird spinal curvature is twisted sister.
I love it.
It doesn’t make up for what osteoporosis has done to my back1. But almost? Maybe.
1 It’s kind of done a number on things. My bone density is off-the-charts low. As in, they told me my hips were equivalent to about 95 years old, so I asked about my spine and they said they didn’t have a chart that went that high but that they’d guess it might be a normal density for a 115-year-old. So I’ve got a huge loss in bone density and a bunch of degenerative changes that go with that. Including two stress fractures around T8 and T11 vertebrae. And as a result of some combination of those things I now have kyphosis (the kind of forward curve sometimes known as “hunchback”) and possibly some other weird curvature. And then my neck is straight where it’s supposed to be curved.
All of this is pretty standard for severe osteoporosis, the only thing particularly odd about it is that I’ve got this going on at the age of 39. Which is because of the steroids I have to take and the fact that Howard made me do everything with my spine that you are not supposed to do with the spine of someone with osteoporosis. And continues to make those demands.
I don’t mind how any of this looks. But it can get excruciatingly painful. which is why having a cool word for it doesn’t quite make up for everything. Not quite. But I do love that someone somewhere decided this was the word for unusual spinal curvature.